The Weekend .. Almost

It’s my weekend, Sunday and Monday off and I'm thinking it’s beginning to get a little old. I've kept this job this long only for the respect of my employer and the convenience of overnight work for the extra dollar an hour. This has helped greatly to the things that I have committed to in the last few years. In addition, I've all the day to do what I need to do. This job isn't one known for great respect but it is employment. I've had the benefits of this employment though I'll admit I may have not taken it to my greatest advantage. The near future will provide no more exceptional benefits other than insurance (stock and 401k are on the back burner). It was not till recently that I've made life changing decisions that I should have made long ago and I did not make plans for these changes. More recent changes in my attitude have led to advantages that I'll reap in the coming months and into my future. Though I am currently in a fair position and my employer will be changing my workable hours, I may need to change jobs. It will likely pay less by a couple dollars an hour but I'll be working days and hopefully I’ll find a new employer will make way for my courses that I’ll be taking in college. This may be my positive needed change. I'll need to focus on curriculum and study to gain knowledge retention and to derive a proper G.P.A for acceptance in the nursing program. I am a fairly decent learner but age does have its tolls. With that said I likely should depart and choose a different course of financial gain.

One and a half weeks! Only one and half weeks till my first day of class. This will be a new beginning for me. Doing all those things that I knew could and wanted to do for so many years. In my past I had decided that I would squander most of my money on replacing, repairing and purchasing those things that I neglected or broke and purchasing those things I didn't actually need and the remainder was trying to pay off a credit card balance accumulated from the for mentioned. Time wasted. Money squandered. I won’t delve into the bigger picture, of course it’s more than frivolous spending but, I felt like I was trapped emotionally with things that simply were not going well and allowed some of these things to bother me. I damaged myself financially which is the smaller part of not going to school; it was whatever place my mind was in. It was a dreary and ambiguous existence. From day to day I was utterly confused and had no direction as to where I should be and where I should go. Occasionally, I had times when things were more untroubled but I slipped back down. Finally, I’ve been able to get away from these times.

Beginning sometime last year, I had done a number of things differently: I've saved more, utilized a credit card less, and have become more than intrigued by a different diet, The Kind Diet. What ever bothered me in my past has seemed to dissipate. Motivation is the downfall of mine. I've grown a habit of laziness trying not to fall victim to spending money on expensive things by staying at home and doing nothing. I have a long way to go to attain the happiness I’m seeking. I hope to accomplish this by a journal of my thoughts here hoping for a greater sense of clarity. To chronicle my plans as best I can and seek the inner me that still exists and has been quietly and patiently waiting to be born.